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Friday, 29 July 2016 12:34

How to Actively Listen

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YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME WHEN...

You do not care about me;
You say you understand before you know me well enough;
You have an answer for my problem before I've finished telling you what my problem is;
You cut me off before I have finished speaking;
You find me boring and don't tell me;
You feel critical of my vocabulary, grammar or accent;
You are dying to tell me something;
You tell me about your experience making mine seem unimportant;
You are communicating with someone else in the room;
You refuse my thanks by saying you haven't really done anything.

YOU ARE LISTENING TO ME WHEN...

You come quietly into my private world and let me be me;
 You really try to understand me even if I’m not making much sense
 You grasp my point of view even if it goes against your own sincere convictions;
 You realize the hour I took from you has left you a bit tired and drained;
 You allow me the dignity of making my own decisions even though you think they may be wrong;
 You do not take my problem from me, but allow me to deal with it in my own way;
 You hold back your desire to give me good advice
 You do not offer me religious solace when you sense I am not ready for it;
 You give me enough room to discover for myself what is going on;
 You accept my gift of gratitude by telling me how good it makes you feel to know you have been helpful

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